Maternal Instinct
by SiriusMarauderFan
Summary: First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes denial. Four shot.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** Written for…

Ultimate OTP Competition. _Prompt:_ "Actually, I don't want to have kids. Ever."

 _-first installment-_

"I thought you were only supposed to carry your bride over the threshold on the wedding night," Hermione teased, her hands clasped tightly around her husband as he maneuvered her through the doorway of an unfamiliar house.

Severus scowled. "I hardly think my chambers at the school qualify as a home, though you've been most obliging of my schedule this past year."

"It doesn't make much sense for us to get a real house if I'm never going to see you," she commented. Her eyes wandered around the house he'd brought her to, wondering why he had. They made the decision to live at Hogwarts before they were even married.

"It's my turn to be considerate," he told her, setting her down on the carpeted floor so she could wander about.

The house appeared to be furnished, or the downstairs at the very least. Everything seemed new but comfortable and in soothing colors. The sort of house she imagined herself living in before fate took her down a different path.

"There are three bedrooms upstairs, and a large garden," Severus told her. His stomach twisted anxiously like it only did when he was around her. "Do you like it?"

Hermione eyed him suspiciously. "Of course, Severus. It's beautiful. Now, are you going to tell me what we're doing here?"

He grinned widely and said, "Welcome to your new home." He handed her a set of keys.

She stared at them for a moment, rubbing her fingers over the cool metal, before flinging her arms around Severus' neck and mumbling her thanks in between excited squeals.

"It's close by the Ministry so you won't have long to get to work," he explained once she calmed down enough to listen. "And I've already set up the Floo network. Once term starts I'll just Floo to my office every morning. Do you really like it?"

"I love it, Severus."

"Good. I know it's a bit big for two people, but I thought once we have children it'll fill quite fast."

The shift in Hermione was instant and obvious. Her smile was gone and her eyes downcast. She was fidgeting with the keys.

"Hermione? Did I say something wrong?"

"No." She answered too quickly and he quirked an eyebrow. "It's just that … well. Actually, I don't want to have kids. Ever."

He thought for a moment that she was joking, but her stance was wrong.

They'd never discussed having children before, but Severus had always believed it was an obvious progression. Hermione was young and had so much love. Not to mention, her mother had been pestering for grandchildren for some time. He couldn't recall his wife ever mentioning an aversion to parenthood then.

"I should've told you sooner," she said when he hadn't commented after a moment. "I honestly didn't think the subject would come up."

"Why not?"

"I didn't know you wanted children. I didn't think … I'm sorry."

He wrapped his arms around her, feeling her relax into him. "I'm not upset, only surprised. I thought you would want a family. And with Ginny pregnant-"

"I know, I've thought about it. I just don't think parenting it for me." She looked up at him, brown eyes wide and searching. "You're sure you're alright with not having children?"

She looked so scared for that moment. Severus smiled reassuringly. "I'm simply happy having you in my life."


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** Written for…

Ultimate Battle! Competition. _Prompt:_ The Red Tide

Ultimate OTP Competition. _Prompt:_ clue

 _-second installment-_

Work went by slowly. Normally Hermione became so engrossed in her job as Senior Liaison of Non-Human Rights that she would miss lunch break unless one of her co-workers reminded her to eat.

Today she was keenly aware of the clock ticking down to a whole hour she'd have to herself, and eating was the last thing on her mind.

She rushed to the lavatory the moment her break began, waiting impatiently in the long line as she silently cursed her healer.

Honestly, it wasn't even remotely her healer's fault. It was the fault of whoever stocked magazines and pamphlets in her healer's waiting room. It was there, just last week that Hermione had read a very interesting pamphlet that had brought to light something that was inexplicably missing from her monthly routine.

It had taken her three days of double-checking her calendars to be sure that she was _late_. It took another three days to admit that there may possibly be a better explanation for that then the stress she was under. Which led her to today, in which she entered the stall equipped with the original pamphlet, a list of testing spells to try out, a pregnancy test she'd bought on her way to work, and a tampon, just in case she was wrong.

She locked herself in the stall, anxiously reading over the pregnancy test instructions. It had a seven-minute wait time which, in her state, seemed like an eternity. She decided to try the muggle way first. All spells could be tried out while she waited.

A pregnancy testing charms was the first in the long list of spells she'd copied from a domestic spell guide she'd been given as a wedding present.

The sight of the pink sparkles surrounding her stomach after she completed the spell made her feel queasy. Whether that was a side-effect of the spell or another clue as to her condition, she wasn't entirely sure.

The timer she'd set on her watch dinged just as she'd finished the series of medical spells meant to check for other injuries or maladies that might explain her nausea and disappearing period. They all had negative results.

Picking up the innocent white stick, Hermione prayed to every deity she could think of – and Merlin too, just to be safe – that it would be negative as well.

She wasn't so lucky.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** Written for…

Ultimate OTP Competition. _Prompt:_ one half of the pairing is voicing doubts about something.

 _-third installment-_

"I can't do this."

"You just need to relax."

"Relaxing is not going to make this go away, Severus!" Hermione scowled at her husband from her position in the rocking chair. He was across the room, hanging a mobile of owls and broomsticks – a gift from Harry and Ginny, of course.

The nursery looked well-put together, she had to admit. Sage green walls and dark wood furniture. The dresser and shelves were stocked; the decorations set up, everything was perfect. Except for the fact that she was about to have a baby and day now.

Satisfied that the mobile was not going to come crashing down on their newborn, Severus turned to her with a grin. The grin seemed to have been plastered on his face for the past nine months, ever since she'd interrupted his class to drag him into a storeroom and tell him that they were expecting a baby.

He knelt down in front of the chair, placing his hands on top of hers and her swollen belly.

"Everything is going to be fine," he told her with such confidence that she almost believed him.

"I'm not cut out to be a mother," she whimpered. "I'm not good with kids. I used to babysit during summers – I was horrible. People stopped asking me."

"I've never been the greatest with children either, you know."

"But you're a _teacher_."

"Yes, and you might remember my insensitivity when dealing with children."

She smiled for a moment, before the crushing insecurities returned and she gripped his hands tightly. "But you _want_ this. You want kids and you'll be a great father, even if you mess up, because you'll love them."

"And you don't think the same goes for you?"

"Children are unpredictable. I don't do well with unpredictable."

"You don't have to be perfect at everything, you know."

And she did. Hermione had gotten plenty of practice in admitting she was wrong or generally horrible at something ever since they'd begun their relationship. She no longer feared failure, except when it meant someone else would suffer.

"A baby doesn't exactly come with trial runs though. If I'm a horrible mother-"

"You won't be, that much I'm sure of. It'll just take a little practice for both of us. We'll figure it out."

She conceded, knowing Severus would only continue trying to cheer her up.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** Written for…

Ultimate OTP Competition. _Prompt:_ joy

 _-fourth installment-_

Hermione smiled contentedly down at the baby boy sleeping in her arms, marveling at how much he had grown in only a month.

There was a sound out in the hallway and she looked up just as Severus entered the nursery in his pajama pants, rubbing his eyes.

"Everything okay?" he whispered. She nodded, returning to looking at their son. She felt Severus hovering by the chair, and a hand making its way through her tangled mess of curls. "I love you."

She looked up into his grey eyes, surprised to find them focused on her and not the baby.

"I love you too. Is something wrong?"

He shook his head and leaned down to kiss her. "I just want to make sure you're happy."

"I am," she assured him, not a hint of deception in her tone. "I've never been happier."

And it was true. The joy she felt at being with the man she loved, and at being the mother of a healthy and amazing little boy, was well worth the months of worry and doubt.

"Promise me something?" she said as they both watched the baby sleep.

"Hmm?" he said sleepily.

"Never let me forget this moment."


End file.
